k-mart, point-blank and other shenanigans

i had an unusually jam-packed saturday ^-^ my entire month's worth of interesting events squashed into one night..

10:00am
i arrive at work completely dolled up for dad's birthday dinner tonight, dressed snazzily in a little brown woolen matador-style jacket (it's older than i am.. yay for mum's ancient hand-me-downs.. vintage is back with a vengeance), charcoal top, grab belt, pinstripey trews, high heels and all. i leave the heels in the back room and proceed to work in socks.

yep. for the rest of the day i am a walking "what's wrong with this picture?".

11:00am
i'm working alone, since the others have gone for a morning coffee. slightly unstable-looking woman walks into the newsagent, and asks to see one of the porcelain baby dolls in the window. i climb into the display window and bring one out for her, she stands there clutching it to her chest for about ten minutes, staring off into space and singing to herself, then farts loudly, giggles, hands the baby back to me and waddles off.

i re-arrange the baby doll in the window, and liberally spray the counter & surrounds with air-freshener.

1:00pm
lunchtime! pumpkin soup with bread leaves dandruff-like breadcrumbs all over my jacket.. damn.

also, realise i've gone out to lunch in socks. with no shoes. oops.

3:00pm
awkwardly trying to fold large metre-long sheets of designer wrapping paper on the floor. discover that little matador-style jackets are not the way to go when trying to reach across for things - my shoulders lock up and i pitch over onto the wrapping paper.

4:00pm
still folding wrapping paper. crapsticks.

5:15pm
dash off to catch the tram into the city. fall over on tram twice due to instability of high heels, and my own stubborn belief that i can stand up without support because i am immune to the laws of physics.

5:35pm
decide there's just enough time to sneak into Minotaur before meeting mum & dad for dinner. fall down steep Minotaur steps (damn basement stores) and trip over own pant-legs before picking up 2 new books for the collection.. GetBackers #18 and Saiyuki Reload #7. yay!
cautiously hold onto the handrail going back up steps. heels are AWKWARD.

5:50pm
catch tram to restaurant. get squashed against door by old mediterranean man despite there being PLENTY of space on the tram. his arm is in my face and there's nowhere to go. then the tram stops suddenly and a girl falls on me, dropping her shopping bags with a squeal.

5:55pm
missed stop due to old mediterranean man not budging despite me asking him to "excuse me please" in three varying tones of politeness, irritation, and panic.

6:00pm
YES! still made it to Grossi Florentino looking completely posh and suitably dolled-up, despite having to walk back down Bourke for four minutes in heels.

AND have new books hidden in bag so mum can't see what i've been up to.

happily decide that i totally rock.

6:10pm
realise that own father has booked dinner at a posh restaurant despite his not knowing how to be posh.

try to stifle whimper when dad keeps asking the waiter if formaggio is cheese, despite me having told him it was.. only moments before. and then try not to sink into the floor when he asks the waiter to explain torte, panforte, gelato, pollo..

6:30pm
decide that chargrilled rump steak with a liberal dosing of fresh lemon is, quite possibly, the best way for one to partake of grilled beef, excepting a decent fresh-hot Whopper (without cheese) from Hungry Jack's.

7:10pm
laugh at myself when i discover that the panforte is the ice-cream version of fruitcake. with dates. i don't do dates.. of any kind.

7:30pm
wave goodbye to mum & dad as they head off to see Miss Saigon at the theatre. my brother and i make our way to where he's parked Caboose.. four blocks away.

7:40pm
have no choice but to drive, as brother has consumed glass of wine and, being on his P's, has been rendered unable to legally sit behind the wheel.

attempt to wrench off a high-heel in order to reach accelerator.. discover blister on foot to rival those once seen back in my ice-skating days.

7:45pm
lost in own city. how embarrassing.

8:00pm
home! stumble in the front door and struggle with shoe, only to be interrupted by phone call from K, to say she'll be over in ten minutes. just enough time to change into a more comfortable and carol-ish outfit of snow patrol hoodie and jeans.

last-minute quest for bandaids before Karen's arrival produces two fabric bandaids, but unfortunately none of those nice little advance-healing ones that are so handy for shoe-induced blisters.. and so bandaids goes on the shopping list along with brother's request for nice fluffy marshmallows.

9:30pm
upon finishing dinner/supper at David & Camy's Dumpling House, discover that some kind and unknown soul has already paid for our food. K and i try to puzzle out who it could be & why.. since we didn't see anyone we knew, we weren't aware of catching anyone's eye, and neither of us is dressed in what could even remotely be described as "pulling gear".

continue on our way, thoroughly bewildered. resolve to do something similarly nice for some random stranger next opportunity that arises.

9:40pm
having uncommonly good shooting accuracy playing Point Blank.. am utterly crap point-blanker, so am delighted and ecstatic beyond words whenever i shoot something.

possibly developing severe case of trigger-happiness.

karen still wins, naturally, but i'm quite content nonetheless. it has been a good day.

9:50pm
discover that my favourite pop'n'music game has been updated. also discover new random feature that neither karen and i quite understand. so we try it out.

spend the next minute answering japanese questions that the machine throws at us. we're randomly picking answers because neither of us understands exactly what is being asked.

spend the next ten minutes panicking and frantically button-mashing because we've manged to land ourselves some insanely difficult level where we're expected to have the musical talent and hand-eye coordination of geoffrey rush in Shine. naturally, we fail miserably.. but the music was fun.

10:00pm
satisfy my geeky otaku self by stopping to buy jap snackies from the asian grocery. score two little naruto phone accessory thingies.. neji and that blonde sensei, i forget her name.

karen gives me a little penguin-dolphin-dolphin keyring thing that mirjana bought for me - glee! i attach it to my bag o' stuff, where it can sit with pinga and paykel (identical twin brother of fisher) and do penguinous things.

10:30pm
yeeeaaaah, 24-hour k-mart!! almost got run over by petite brunette girl attempting to park next to us, but apart from that, a fairly normal k-mart run.

karen called carmen, who may or may not have been drunk.. ^-^ resulting in a very interesting phone call and possibly carmen getting rather confused.

played with lightsabers in the toy section. i couldn't get mine to work, i felt like such an ass. karen was all, "you have to push the button and THEN fling it!" but.. i just couldn't get the damn thing to work.

no jedi or sith lord am i. *sniffle* i have no midichlorians of which to speak, i have about as much of the Force as the average piece of coal has. i can't work a damned kiddie lightsaber. T-T

bought marshmallows for andge, bandaids for me, and.. lots of other stuff for me -_-;
minties, gummi bears.. i almost caved and bought some penguin pyjamas.

oh, and in the electronics section i experienced another wish for a DS-lite of my own.. ahh, all the games i could play.. i'm getting to be almost karen-like in my wanting to accumulate gadgets-to-play-with.

we found something fun for carmen, too.
(car.. you'll find out when karen comes to sydney ^-^)

most. eventful. non-holiday. saturday. ever.

- the belgian beer cafe bluestone -

sauntered down to the Belgian Beer Cafe Bluestone on St Kilda Rd last night, to have dinner with Peter P in honour of his "27"th birthday.

he said he wanted to try something "different", since he said he eats chinese stuff all the time and hadn't tried much in the way of foods from non-asian cultures - so i found the BBC Bluestone. somewhere relatively nice, with Belgian-French cuisine and classy belgian beers of all kinds. only it turns out that Peter isn't much of a beer drinker. whoops.

the menu was rather wow, boasting interesting things like escargot, stoemp (which is a traditional belgian dish of mashed potato-carrot-bacon), boudin blanc sausages, hoegaarden and roquefort-style mussel pots, Flemish carbonnade (a kind of Flemish-Belgian beef and beer stew), and belgian mousse and proper creme brulee and imported belgian chocolates. (well, i figured Peter should try some nice food without going too far up the posh end.)

we should have gone with more people. (my brother was unwilling to participate in the night, having an assignment due. pah.) Peter wanted to try things like escargot and one of the mussel pots, but I'm not much of one for snails or clam-like things, and he didn't want to eat them all by himself, so he ended up settling for Pork Belly and Stoemp. i thought the boudin blanc sausage sounded nice, so i went with that.

Peter seemed vaguely surprised that the Pork Belly tasted just like Siu Yook (Roast Pork). well, duh. siu yook is pork belly done roast style. ^-^ ah, Peter, you so need to learn more about western (especially european!) cuisine if you don't want to be the doof randomly pointing at numbers on a gwai-lo menu when you see your favourite Liz in Paris or Texas.. ;)

despite my initial apprehension at seeing green on the sausage (which turned out to be fresh leaves of baby spinach worked into the sossie), the boudin blanc was gorgeous. the one at the BBC Bluestone is the french version, made with smooth pork meat (possibly heart.. yikes) pureed and blended with milk, which gave it a really lovely velvety sort of texture.

oh! and i tried beer! (because Carmen's boyo, Nut, said you can't go to a belgian beer cafe and then NOT have beer, hahaha.. dude, i went to the german Lowenbrau Keller and didn't even try their non-alcoholic version!!)

so i went and tried one called the Hoegaarden Forbidden Fruit, but unfortunaltely there was no apple involved, it was apparently a pretty strong beer (8% alcohol!) and kind of red-coloured like wine. served in it's own special signature wine-glass-shaped.. glass. Peter was transfixed by the way the waiter came up & poured the beer for me, holding it up to the light.

it was okay, but, y'know.. beery.

Peter tried the Hoegaarden White which Nut had recommended, and apparently he liked it. so there you go, people. if you're not into beer, the Hoegaarden White may pleasantly surprise you.

unfortunately by the end of it all, we were too full to try the desserts.. so if anyone out there wants to try out the BBC Bluestone.. give me a buzz and i'll come with! and possibly drag Pete & Liz along, too ^-^

and Happy "27"th Birthday for today, Peter P!

..you learn something new every day.

today's discovery:

Despite having perfectly good cheese, lettuce, carrot and beetroot, you can't have a sufficiently satisfying salad sandwich if the bread part is bloody well cardboard-like in texture and taste.

bleaugh.

note to self: don't let dad buy bread. EVER.

...oh, and in other news:
i've updated my library lists on the sidebar. check it out. ------>
yay for caro and her dragonlike hoard of books and assorted paper products!

You Know You're Australian When..

1. You're familiar with Neighbours, Home and Away, Playschool, A Country Practice, Norman Gunston, Barry Humphries, Blue Heelers, Ray Martin, Bert Newton, Lisa McCune, Jon Burgess, Number 96, Molly Meldrum, Kerry O'Brien, and of course, Kerry Packer and Rupert Murdoch.

2. You know that Burger King doesn't exist. It's Hungry Jacks.

3. You know that snow is a memorable and freakish occurrence. Sometimes it's even fake.

4. You know the difference between thongs and a G-banger.

5. You know that "stubbies" are either short shorts or small beer bottles, a "gimp", "bogan" or "geezer" is a random idiot, someone in trouble is in "strife" and you're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.

6. You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto etc.

7. You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere... no matter where you actually are.

8. You know that while we call our friends 'mates', we don't use terms like 'sheila' and 'shrimp on the barbie', contrary to popular belief.

9. You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer because it tastes like shit. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.

10. You resent people who succeed over others- everyone should do the same thing, so we all get a "fair go"; a kind of 'American-dream' in reverse. This is why we actively like not liking Americans.

11. You've seen Gallipoli, Crocodile Dundee, Young Einstein, Muriel's Wedding, The Castle, Beneath Clouds, Strictly Ballroom, 40,000 Horsemen, and maybe even Wolf Creek.

12. It makes you happy when someone in Hollywood is actually Australian... Mel Gibson, Nicole Kidman, Russle Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Baz Luhrman, Elle MacPherson, Olivia Newton-John, Midnight Oil, ACDC, INXS, Greg Norman, Cathy Freeman, Dawn Fraser, Pat Rafter, Ian Thorpe...

13. One word: Skippy.

14. You know that Sydney 2000 was one of our proudest moments in history. We just f***ing rock.

15. You know that you are not going to die of cholera or other Third World diseases (remote Aboriginal communities are a different matter)

16. You know our country has never been conquered by a foreign nation (you don't count 1788).

17. We know that the Metric system will always be better than anything inches, feet, pounds and farenheit will ever offer.

18. You drive on the left-hand side of the road.

19. If you're a pedestrian and cars are stopped at a red light, you will fearlessly cross the street in front of them. 'Hit and runs' just aren't cricket. Because aussies stick together.

20. You think of Australia as being somewhat out of place within the Asia-Pacific region; surrounded by unstable ex-colonial nations who regard you as racist, imperialist, and unfairly wealthy.

21. You know that New Zealanders are basically our naive country cousins, who have a weird fush-and-chups accent, and for some bizarre reason, think that they invented pavlova. Bastards. They are to be pitied and laughed at. They have no hope of gaining the upper hand in the endless sporting rivalry between our two nations.

22. You know that you can't eat Fantales alone... Otherwise who will you play the 'Who am I...' game with when you're reading the wrapper?

23. You know that Sydney should be the capital because Canberra is a hole.

24. You know that Americans think we're all Steve Irwin clones. And crikey, they couldn't be more wrong.

25. You know that Lawyers wear wigs and gowns. And we make it look good.

26. You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.

27. You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread... and actually grow to like it. You've also squeeze Vegemite through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.

28. You believe that democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of good ol' Johnny Howard.

29. You think footballers dressing up in drag on TV is funny (but your son being gay isn't).

30. You have the ability to compress several words into one - ie 'g'day' and 'd'reckn?'. This allows more space for profanities.

31. You've ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you REALLY mean it.

32. You know that the barbeque is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the salad.

33. The private lives of footy and cricket players become more important than local and national news stories.

34. You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.

35. You know what fairy bread tastes like, and you can't imagine your childhood without it.

36. You know the first verse to the national anthem, but still don't know what "girt" means. And you're ok with that.

37. You've drank your tea/coffee/milo through a tim tam.

38. You know that backyard cricket is a nice way to bond with family and the rubbish bin. And the 'one bounce, one hand' rule always applies.

39. You know that we are home to the just about all of the world's deadliest of animals. That's why if anybody messes with us we'll get some funnel webs on their asses.

40. You see people walking bare-foot on the sidewalk and don't scorn.... because you're doing it too.

41. You know what trop-fest is and it makes you happy.

42. Sausage rolls and meat pies. End of story.

43. You firmly believe that in the end, everything will be ok and have offered advice that included the words, "she'll be right, mate".

44. You have a story that somehow involves an excessive consumption of goon... but you can't remember.

45. You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colours.

46. You've ordered a steak the size as your head and only paid $5 at your local RSL

47. You know that Italy should never have been granted that fateful kick in the 2006 Soccer World Cup.

48. You know how to slip, slop, slap like it's nobody's business.

49. You've heard the Prime Minister dismiss anyone who disagrees with him simply as 'un-Australian', and that's enough to make us sit down and shut up.

50. You know that the value of a public holiday is measured in terms of alchohol. God bless the queen and her 4-day birthday.


And right now you feel bloody awesome.

^-^ heh, just a bit of fun i found on Facebook, courtesy of Kate's joining the 'You Know You're Australian When..' group and me being a colossal snoop.

in other news, have discovered that one sake apple crunch cocktail really is all it takes to make me a happy babbling idiot, and that when sobering up or recovering from hangover i develop the unholy desire to play with irons.

you heard me. irons. of the kind you use like a little steam train to flatten clothing.

wheee.

so if anybody needs their clothes ironed but don't want to iron it themselves.. get me drunk and hand me the steam iron..

(hey Nut.. any idea what brand of iron they use at the Stamford? i forgot what it was.. that was soooo fun! an iron that snorts and puffs like a dragon is f***ing awesome.. i should give them a call and ask..)

more happy birthday shout-outs!

today's shout-outs are brought to you by the occasion of mugz & sez's turning-one-year-older-ness, microsoft paint, and my sorrowfully belatey swiss-cheese-headed memory.

sorry, girls ^-^


and hey, any of you are on Facebook.. come look me up!
(yes, Channary dear, people DO use Facebook! get onto it, woman!)